"If Only"

The other day Jim and I were running an errand.  We had a bit of a drive to get to our destination and Jim asked if I would mind if he listened to a cassette tape (yes my car still has a cassette player and we still own some cassettes) of a speaker he heard at a conference.  I said, "sure."

The speaker began by saying something to the effect that two of the most dangerous words in the English language are, "if only."  That small statement set my mind in motion.  I related to the fact that I have said that phrase all my life propelling me into chronic discontent.  "If only my childhood family wasn't so poor."  "If only I hadn't waited until the night before my term paper was due to begin writing it."  "If only I could find the love of my life (I eventually did, but at age 20 I thought it would never happen)."  "If only...if only...if only."  You get it.

Lately my "if only" has been, "if only my kidneys worked."  What I realized is that I have been wishing my life away and waiting for perfect scenarios so that I can declare my life to be content and happy.  Sometimes my "if onlys" have been so paralyzing that I have not been able to move forward with participation and purpose.  But God is challenging me.  In the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy it says,

"This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him."

Choose life today.  Choose life tomorrow.  Choose life next week and next month and next year.  Find purpose in this day.  Be grateful and give thanks.  Express love.  Be fully present.  Recognize your Creator.  Fight against the "if onlys."