Touch

Wednesday afternoon of last week, Jim drove me to the beauty salon to get my hair cut before I had to settle in for my "sequester" after this most recent cancer treatment.  I felt so weak so we decided I shouldn't drive myself and I really wanted to stay on my favorite red couch but I thought that after a month with no haircut I would regret that decision so I went to the salon.

"I'm all set for you!  You can go right to the bowl in the middle."  So I did. After the plastic apron was snapped in place I began to anticipate my favorite part of the salon experience--the shampoo.  Jackie gives a wonderful, brisk shampoo and rinses with water that is just the right temperature.  If I'm lucky she'll do it twice!  I rarely chat during this time because I don't want to miss any of her wonderful touch.  If I was a cat, I would purr.

Now that I am isolated from Jim, our little gray cat, Teddy and our frail old dog, Ellie, I am even more aware of how much I depend on touch.  Each time Jim drops off food my room, I want to reach out and hug him.  I find myself saying, "Kiss me...," and then I remember, "Oh, he can't."  It's not normal!  Even Teddy knows this...the normally quiet cat has been crying out loud because we are separated and he cannot come sit with me.   The lack of touch changes my mood.  (When I was thinking about this treatment, the thing I dreaded most was the physical isolation.)  And on the other side, a hug, a fist bump or pat on the back also changes my mood.

Yesterday, as I was on my way to the hospital I used social media to quickly let people know what was happening.  Before I was even called into the treatment room, messages assuring me of love and prayer began to come in.  There has not been one hour in the last twenty-four hours that someone has not "reached out and touched me" through phone, media, cards and prayers.  Though traditional touch--hugs, kisses, pats on the arm or back--is not available right now, I am being touched. 

Thanks to all who have stopped your busy world and taken the time to step into my world and touch me.  I feel it!